A Paper from the diary of the repenter:

How a boy found the secret to inner peace and struggled to become humanly human

One day while engrossed in the deep thoughts a rolling paper caught my eyes. What was the appealing feature of that paper while I see so many rolling under people’s feet everyday? It was the paper from someone’s diary.

I picked it up.

I wondered what the story would have been as the ending was so touching, but I was no detective that I would have reached the person and forced him to share his diary with the youth.

I was thinking of the ways to tell what I found, but the incomplete three lines would spur up the curiosity of the reader, and the message would lose its effect and depth. I got the idea. Yes, I am a children story writer so why not weave fiction story with a real ending.

Read the story.

Born in the privileged part of society, I Hamza was bred with the luxury and pride. In me, the element of arrogance was rooted. Humanly feelings such as the piety, forgiveness and humanly kindness were sheared on a daily basis, so I end being inhumanly human on planet Earth.

The humanly human would sometimes raise his head to be prominent, but I would ignore the cries. I was a great imitative learner and so was very fast in imitating the acts of the adults around me. Soon I was the byproduct of my environment, and in me, you could find

• Hatred for lower class
• Pride
• Extravagance
• Lust for the worldly items
• In supportive attitude towards fellows
• Selfishness
• Hypocrisy

 

I was contented. I felt immune to the sufferings around me. I loved my power and influence over others. One day in the mid of the terrifying night; I saw two watery, big, sore eyes begging for the help. He wanted my support as he was injured badly in the mid of the deadly night.

The humanly human just won for some minutes in me, and I lifted him, gave him water and supported to the nearby hospital. He was happy as he knew that I would ask the doctor to treat him. He raised his hand to pray for me, and in the midst of his prayers, I was won again by the inhumanly human again and I thought what if I would be convicted of injuring him. I left him outside the hospital at the mercy of the time and shouted at him some ugly words.

Nothing changed in my life for the coming few days, but then after sometimes I would see the eyes of that boy now and again in my dreams and then the eyes of him would become mine.

The dream frequented so much that I started losing sight of worldly happiness and got depressed by each passing day. The misery inside me kept mounting, and I was left with no help, no hopes of feeling better.

The tranquillisers could not make the dream vanish, and I got weaker day by day.

My illness turned my parents towards the only last resort, “Allah.” They wanted to repent their ways for the health of mine. Their repented ways did nothing better to me.

The situation was hopeless one night, and I was sitting with a sharp knife to end my misery that the beginning verses of that boy echoed in my brain, “O Allah make him and his family repent his ways”…..but I didn’t let him continue.

How may I repent was the question in front of me?

I tried all the ways to bring me some peace. Every day I tried something new and wrote it in the diary. One day I was able to complete my diary as I got the secret to bring peace in my life.

I found that I watch my words and guard my actions always. I may never be the reason for tears in anyone’s eyes.

I found some words spoken and some measures taken without the consideration of what it does to the heart of others may one day do same to us.

I found that mending the broken hearts is what gives peace and breaking them is what destroys the peace.